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My soldier came home. My heart fills with thankfulness today, Memorial Day. My soldier came home. My husband came home after his last tour of Iraq. My brother returned home from Iraq as well. Thank God. Thank God for soldiers. Thank God for their families. Today we celebrated Memorial Day. We remembered those that died while in active military service. They sacrificed themselves for our country and what our country stands for. Something inside me shakes, realizing that countless families out there remember loved ones they have lost on this day. What incredible strength those families have. Military families amaze me. It takes love and fortitude to keep a family healthy physically, emotionally, and mentally through many of the struggles that military families face. Fathers and mothers must leave behind children, even babies, and travel to the other side of the world. Sometimes they don't come home for months and in the meantime pray that their child still can smile at them when they return. Wives and husbands have to keep marriages strong without physical touch and feeling detached from each other's daily lives. Beyond their immediate family, service men and woman and their spouses must move far from family. They have to uproot multiple times and find support within each other and the friends they will make along the way. And, when it is all over, when they are honorably discharged and packed back into boxes, they must begin their lives again. Some have to start college as forty year-olds. Some have to find where they belong in this civilian world. This is not an easy life. But I know one thing. God keeps them close. He hears their prayers. He hears their cries. He smiles with every success. He takes joy in the tight embraces with every departure and return. He holds hands when some are lost. He shelters families who look up to him for protection. He honors the sacrifices of those who serve and those that stand behind them. I just wanted to ask my readers today to pray for these men and women that serve our country and for their precious families. May God continue to keep them close. Above photo was used with permission from the Murray family. I could hear Micaela's squeals and Adela's giggles all the way on the other end of the house when Jovani got home in time tonight to tell them goodnight before they fell asleep. We had just got back from Albuquerque and I looked out the window often, hoping he would come home before they went to bed. It is silly of me to get upset. My husband works so very hard to provide for us and he loves us more than words can express. Yet, when I compare the endless hours I spend with our children to the little moments or days he shares with us, I often feel frustrated. Negative feelings like that towards our husbands, our providers, the fathers of our children, and our other halves, those feelings cannot take up residence in our hearts. They don't belong. But today I battled those emotions and finally sat down to pray. God, I said, I just want it to be okay. I want our girls to be okay. I don't want Jovani to miss anything. God didn't answer me, instead my eyes caught the camera lying on the countertops and I reached over and grabbed it. Flipping through the pictures I stopped on the one above. It was taken last weekend when Jovani came home from working cattle all day long but instead of going in to rest, he got the girls on horses. In that hour or so they learned so much from him. They learned about animals and the outdoors. They had his arms around them. They felt loved. They felt important. They knew they were special. Do I ever give that much of myself to my girls for even an hour at a time? The answer is no. I help them color while I cook dinner. I work on developmental skills while I think about my to-do list. I give them a bath and become frustrated when they splash water on the floor. No, the answer is no. Daddy time is not like Mommy time. It is just not. It is a species of experience all of its own. And when I realized that, I felt that deep peace. God had given me my answers. It is okay. My girls have an amazing father who is doing everything right for them and his family. He is devoting time to providing and squeezing in precious moments with them, doing things that I would never do with a heart that is not mine. Daddy time is not Mommy time--not in quality or quantity--and it is just as powerful and important. Sunday morning is a day to celebrate pajamas for a few extra hours. To drink another cup of coffee and enjoy some family time. But yesterday I think my family and I were the only ones in the state that had no idea it was Daily Lights Savings change. When I picked up the phone and blinked disbelieving at the numbers we had barely an hour to get everyone bathed, in church clothes, and packed for visiting my husbands family. I lost it. Like a General sure that all my troops are destined to go missing in action, I started to give orders and run around in a frenzy of pink girls' dresses, bubble baths, and coffee mugs. With absolute certainty I knew that I was the most un-fun person in my house. And yet fifty-five minutes later we were stuffed in the car, on our way to church. My husband leaned over, kissed my lips, and goofily said, "Good morning!" He had no hard feelings and had worked hard to get us to church. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled. Just when I think I couldn't love him more... Marriage is much different than I ever imagined. Like so many other women, I had to trade in some fantasies and accept reality. I didn't get Prince Charming. I got a steady, honest cowboy. I never had a castle, but everywhere I am with him is home. I don't get flowers as much as I get support and affirmation. I don't get candlelit dinners as much as I get laughter and hugs. While our relationship might come up short in romance it is abundant in understanding, friendship, and a deep love. My husband keeps me going when my emotions tear me down. My husband keeps me believing in dreams even when life get hard. I think that a truth that has upheld my quality of life is that my husband is my other half, deserving of all the love, attention, and caring that I would want him to bestow on me. It is the most precious symbiotic relationship on the planet. When he hurts, I hurt. When I smile, he holds my hand. To all the women out their with great husbands in your life, here is to the men we are proud to call OURS, the men God knew would partner us on our journey through life and make it so much better than if we were alone. Love you, Jovani. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Elk, baby calves, giggling, and smothered burritos--it was one of those days. Last week my husband and I packed up the girls and spent the day together...like a "normal" family. Jovani had an appointment and afterwards we checked our little herd of cows. Something about leaving the house, leaving behind Micaela's therapy literature, leaving behind Adela's timeout zone, and leaving behind our usual routine felt so nice. It was just my little family and I enjoying each other's company. We saw four elk taking a stroll through pastures. We saw the most beautiful heifer just born that week. We ate a good meal. We laughed. We appreciated each other. It was fun seeing Micaela's eyes go wide as we fed the cows. Adela's world was made round when she saw the elk (she just knew they were Santa's Reindeer). And Jovani and I agreed that our life is pretty wonderful. Goodness, we all need days like that. Days without pre-mandated duties that take precedence over simply living and going with the flow. Isn't it amazing, that in a life full of bills, doctors, job searching, and deadlines we can be so thoroughly and intimately blessed by our Heavenly Father? Grab some fun writing materials and do it: Write down your favorite everyday things. I know there are ten things in your life that bring you happiness everyday. I don't think they are the same for everyone, but I bet if you grab a pen and paper you would be surprised how sweet life really is. I was having one of those down days. Sometimes it feels like life just keeps piling it on. I'll never catch my breath, I'll never catch up, I'll never finish. It is a difficult attitude to beat. The only thing I find that helps is to focus on NOW and leave the next day, the next hour, the next ten minutes in God's hand. NOW has enough demands of its own. Today I gulped back frustration as I looked at my to-do list, my cluttered home, and the Mount Everest stack of laundry and realized that I have to make another trip into town soon to get groceries. My mind clambered for a lot of quick-fixes for my attitude--chocolate, putting on a good movie, laying face-down on the bed and groaning. I started humming My Favorite Things from Sound of Music and decided to make a quick list of my favorite things that happen almost everyday of my life--beautiful, sweet things that give me courage, strength, and smiles to enjoy the day. Making that list was the funnest thing I've done in a long time I grabbed my favorite markers, pens, and paper and was amazed. My list is above. I think it is something we should all do and be aware of. Once you realize how fulfilling those little things are, you take the time to savor them throughout the day. And then it is not such a bummer day after all. Life is sweet. Beautiful Dawn. Beautiful Day. Beautiful Mama. Those are the three things I remind myself of each morning as I commit myself to loving whatever comes at me. It is tough, really tough, sometimes. There are days where I would either like to start over or simply be done with it all. But I can tell you that the days that I follow through with my three steps to a beautiful day I do feel amazingly satisfied by the end of it. So, here they are. Step 1: Beautiful Dawn. How do you begin your day? Setting a tone begins the moment you open your eyes. I encourage myself to think good things from the moment I wake. I remind myself to have positive expectations. I crawl out of the warm cocoon of blankets, grab a cup of coffee, open my Bible study, and spend calm & peaceful one-on-one time with my Heavenly Father. In fifteen to thirty minutes I feel strengthened and full of joy. I am anxious to begin the day and see what adventures await. Step 2: Beautiful Day. Life isn't perfect. In a heartbeat we can feel beaten by the most simple events. Someone gives the girls a xylophone capable of breaking glass with its ear splitting tones and you start counting down until naptime. Your daughter is going through the whiny phase and it seems she has an impossibly large quota of "Mama, mama, mama..."'s to be said by noon. A neighbor shows up and your dishes are still piled in the sink. Breathe. This happens. Accept that God allowed it because He loves you. Carefully He shapes and crafts you as you navigate your way through this day's events. Step 3: Beautiful Mama. You need to take care of yourself. Keeping your mind, heart, body, and soul up to the task of caring for your family is an important investment of your time. Give yourself things to look forward to. Take breaks during the day to enjoy a coloring book, a novel, some music--whatever restores your peace and makes you feel like more than the house cook and cleaner. And, at the end of the day don't try to cram in more work because the kids are in bed. Relax. Snuggle up to your amazing hubby and watch TV. Don't ever tell yourself that you shouldn't do these things. They are important because you are important. I'll be writing more about each step as we go throughout the first year of my Beautiful Day Project. And please, if you have advice on how you succeed in making your own day beautiful please share. We are all on this journey together. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Selah" |
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