Wednesdays get me. Even now. Even today, smack dab in the middle of my Christmas break, I've stalled out, a listless mom playing Uno, finishing laundry, touching the cold glass of the window as I watch the cold front blow in.
I've ran out of steam...again.
Oh, but you should have seen me yesterday. And Monday.
I was a madhouse of energy, creativity, and productivity. I cooked, did Christmas activities, and crossed a lot of coaching tasks off my list as I gear up to launch the weight loss course again in 2023.
And, it is here, on this day, when I can't seem to get my gears moving, that a tiny part of my soul unveils a little mystery.
I always thought grace was for dirty nasty sin or the refusal to root out harmful habits. Grace was for bad words and ugly thoughts.
But, Grace is for my Wednesdays.
Today I'm just not enough. I'm tired, scared, frustrated...I want life to pause and give me a moment to decide my next thoughts, but instead time marches on and I waste it, spinning my wheels almost every single Wednesday.
Grace. Grace tells me I wasn't ever supposed to be enough. I'm supposed to have little pieces missing, the holes where I let more of God's Spirit in, making me ever more beautiful than before.
I don't need to try to mask it with a smile or fill it with a sweetness or a substance that would deaden the pain. My perfection rests in Grace, where I welcome Him.
And there, I am at peace.
Love you, my friends. May you also find grace today for each and every part of you that is still growing, maturing, and healing.
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"...and God was already there with me."