My life feels a little like the fluctuations of the New Mexico weather. One day we're enjoying a soft warmth from quiet sunshine, and the next moment the winds seems to cut through to your spine and all you can do is breathe.
A couple weeks ago Micaela had a seizure. One moment I was putting away dinner and the next moment my husband and I were administering rescue medication and oxygen to our precious baby girl. It floored us. And, the sad news is that as she begins to go through another stage of physically development, our neurologist warned that epilepsy tends to get a lot worse.
Micaela recovered. New medication levels were administered, and I lifted my chin. Life goes on and you face it one blow at a time. But for whatever reason, the blows kept coming. Micaela got a head cold and lost her equilibrium for 72 hours. Then things at schools got more complicated with new students (who are amazing but still a change to our class routines and dynamics) and everyone seemed to be needing extra emotional TLC.
I couldn't quite describe the feeling that came over me. Between my worries over Micaela and the extra stress at work, it was like I was always looking over my shoulders, waiting for the next bomb to drop, the next shock to add another fracture to my soul.
Thank God there are seasons. Our Heavenly Father allows us to go through these moments, not because we need toughening-up, but because our we need to train our feet to go running right back to Him. We need to trust His provision, protection, and wisdom so that we will never feel unsafe, unsupported, and alone.
I'm so thankful that Lent begins this week. I love this time of year. For 46 days we enter into a period of fasting and worship. Every year I do this a little different, concentrating on whatever part of my life has drawn away from God.
Right now, I want to give Him all these little worries. They are what is tearing apart my world. Yes, in my world they are big things, but in God's hands they are part of His beautiful plan and story for my life.
Dear Lord, teach me to rest in that. To trust in You.
Where have you felt little worries hurting your heart these days?
Right now Micaela is in the living room, sitting on the couch, reading out loud. Yes, She has her farm book mostly memorized so it is not traditional reading, but she is enthralled and doing it! I am so excited to see her interest in reading increase.
It is just one of the many areas in my little world that I'm seeing surprising momentum.
Probably, though, the person that is fascinating me the most is Adela. She is ten and going through a lot of changes in these pre-teen years. Last month we weaned our miniature donkey, Abigail, and Jovani assigned the job of halter breaking her to Adela.
Every day, including the recent cold-snap, Adela has been out in the pens with her new project. Patiently she has taught her how to lead, allow you to check her feet, and how to maneuver around objects that might otherwise frighten her.
When Adela first started with her, Jovani had to show her a few things. I watched from the window as that stubborn little donkey refused to do anything but run away or lie back on her heels when she felt the pressure on the rope. She also did a bit of biting and kicking. Alarmed I didn't know how well the halter breaking would go.
Honestly, I underestimated the element of consistency.
Within the first week Adela was leading her.
It is incredible.
You know, often in our goals we look for momentum to just start happening on it's own. As if the universe will align to give us a little push and then we can get going. However, it's just not the way it works. We have to get started with the little things and be willing to do them over and over.
Micaela's reading is also taking off. She can recognize five sight words and is thrilled to sit down with me and read a book together. She can even retell a little bit of the story. It is HUGE. But, once again, consistency got us here. Everyday at school her teacher and EA work with her, and every night, even on the weekends, I sit with her and go through her words and then read a story.
Consistency shapes our soul. I think it is greatly missing in our fast-moving culture where we are constantly looking for the next thing or craving a quick fix. Consistency in the small things has blessed my world and I am so thankful for God's strength to keep going.
I'll have to keep you posted on Micaela and Adela's progress, my friend. Thank you for your continued prayers for my family during this time. We love you.
I would love to know, where have you been consistent and are starting to have momentum?
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"...and God was already there with me."