What Leads Me to the Pantry (or the Refrigerator)
I have a “witching hour”, a time of day where I become angry and restless. My feet lead me to the pantry where I stare at the contents and finger bags of things that my stomach doesn’t want but my mind craves. Do you know what leads me there? One. Simple. Thing. My task list.
Now, I need for you to hear me. I love time management strategies, organization techniques, and planning tactics. I love a beautifully orchestrated to-do list paired with a gorgeous schedule. However, 19 out of 20 times, all that planning leads me to the pantry at the end of the day.
Why? Because all the planning in the world will never compensate for the unexpected. There is the phone call from a hospital or a request from a family member or simply a complication to a task I thought would be easy. Then, at the end of the day, I look at my plan and completely trash myself. I expected more. What I got done wasn’t enough.
I am my own worst task-master.
Right now my church is doing a Bible Study by Louie Giglio called “Don’t Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table”. As I work through the book I am forced to face the fact that I try so hard to be my own Shepard. It isn’t because I don’t trust God, it is more a lie that the enemy fed me that I should know how to do this without God. As if God needed me to be self-sufficient in order to be less of a bother to Him.
Have you ever stopped and really thought about your opinion of God? Several Christian ministry leaders have made the connection of us viewing God, our Heavenly Father, the same way we view our Earthly father. For me, this is spot-on. I have an amazing Earthly father. He has always served his family well. He is a hard worker, giving everything to his children and even caring for my mother as she passed away from multiple sclerosis. However, I always felt deeply that I added to my father’s burdens. I strived to work hard and be helpful and “good” so his life wouldn’t be so difficult. It is an attitude that carries over into my relationship with God.
It is both ironic and sad, because the God that created the universe does not need me to be perfect. He is not given to exhaustion or resentment because of any of my faults. He is the perfect Father. He has asked to give everything to me--guidance, protection, provision, and love--and it is His good pleasure to do this for His children.
This lent, I have been asked to give God my task list. It is a symbol of my belief that I could ever hurt or disappoint my God by my imperfections. He can have my to-do list while I truly rest and trust His love for me no matter what did or did not get done that day.
So, tell me this, what is leading you to the pantry these days?
If emotional eating is something you would like some help working on, consider signing up for my free weight loss class. I would be honored to coach you. https://mailchi.mp/88cc1c3e9b98/weight-loss-from-the-soul
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"...and God was already there with me."