I had never truly listened to the question before, "Is she potty-trained?" Today, when they asked I immediately said, "No," but then the light bulb went on. They need a urine sample, duh! After all, we were at the pediatric nephrologist (kidney specialist). Micaela totally knows how to get that done and with a little adjusting, the nurse got us set for Micaela to give us her first-ever urine sample.
However, my pride that Micaela had moved forward in life quickly dissolved. As we waited in a Disney-themed office my mind went into over-drive.
We've never given a urine sample before. What if they find something wrong? What if something is wrong? What will it mean? What if it is extra-awful because I never thought of how Micaela was capable of doing giving a sample before and now a problem has been growing and growing...
I swallowed and had a hard time focusing on the Highlights magazine story that I read to the girls. I pushed the magazine away and let the girls play. My stomach turned.
On my way to Albuquerque I had listened to a podcast sermon in which the pastor said that the best way to live the way God's wants us to live is the preemptively decide how we are going to react in our weakest moments. I know that I am given to worry more than anything, and on that drive I had flippantly told God that I would rest in His provision instead of spinning the wheels of anxiety.
That promise popped into my head as I waited for the nurse practitioner to knock on our door. Resting in God's provision doesn't come naturally to me.
I smiled, feeling God chuckling at me. I let out a deep breath and gave my worry to Him. I thanked Him for Micaela's amazing medical care. I thanked Him for the opportunity to get her kidney functions tested today. Then I asked Him to be with us as we walked out the next-steps in our lives--whatever they might be. My shoulders dropped as peace seeped into my heart.
The knock came a few moments later and within fifteen minutes I was reassured that Micaela's test had showed nothing alarming and the nurse practitioner and the doctor were both very pleased with her progress.
Ah, God is so gentle. He wants me to get a little more practice at this resting He calls me to and He greatly provided for us today.
God is always calling me, teaching me. He loves us deeply and wants us to open our hearts to Him. Today's unexpected worry came with unexpected peace. Not because the result was desirable, but because my God's love for me and mine is incredible.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
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"...and God was already there with me."