Tired of Losing Control: When My Words Kept Hurting My Little Ones

I was fairly certain the roof shuddered as the last syllable came from my mouth. It had been a bad day. No, it had been a horrible one. Both the girls were whiny, defiant, and inconsolable messes. To top it off, since we had spent much of the week visiting with family, I had a list of chores that could have wrapped around planet earth.
 
By the end of the day my patience was all gone. It was bath time.  Adela and Micaela seemed angry about everything—water temperature, bath bubbles, toys, hair washing, etc. As their complaints resounded on the bathroom walls, my frustration built.
 
And then, I exploded.
 
I can’t remember what I said, but I know exactly what their faces looked like. I was very ugly with them. As I finished bathing them in near silence, I felt so ashamed. What had I done?
 
Okay, I could just say that I’m human. I know. But I want more for my daughters than a mom who is hurtful with her words whenever she is feeling frazzled. Thankfully, I found some priceless Biblical solutions to put in place the next time I am starting to feel too close to the edge. If you are struggling with this too, perhaps you’ll find these tips helpful.

• Address what your heart is full of. Luke 6:45 states that our mouths speaks from what is inside our hearts. In those moments when the girls were frustrating and whiny, my heart was full of anger. I wasn’t seeing them with eyes of love, but with the frustrations of self-centered pity. The reality was that my girls were exhausted from the busy week. If I had filled my heart with compassion, I could have modeled for them how we handle weariness and allowed God’s love for them to strengthen me.
• Ask God to safe-guard your mouth against untrue or ugly things. God did say “Ask and you will receive.” (Matthew 7:7) So why don’t we ask for protection over our words? In truth, we probably hesitate to do this because our words are often our only weapon and we want to retain control. However, we need to put our trust in God and have faith that He will help us handle each situation with patience and empathy.
• Take care of yourself. I should have gave myself some slack that day. I treated my own body, heart, and mind with disrespect as I tried to tackle everything on my list while also being  a mother to needy children. If I am going to treat myself so poorly then I have set myself to fail at doing things well. Again, I should have trusted God with my day instead of trying to control everything myself.  

I thank God that His mercies are new every morning and that my girls are small and won’t remember everything about that day. Little by little we are all being changed into better children of God. Hallelujah! It will take time for me to learn self-control and safe guard my words.

​I will just have to trust God to grow me in this. 

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​Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
    keep watch over the door of my lips!
Psalm 141:3, ESV

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​Do you struggle with watching over the words you say as you interact with others?