I had a dream this weekend that scientists had figured out a way to resurrect my baby, Isabela. If I was willing, they would bring her to life so that I could hold her for a few minutes before she passed away again. In my dream I could not refuse the offer. So they did it. They brought her back to life so that I could hold her in my arms again, just a few moments, and say good bye.
My sobs woke me up. And for the next two days I fell in and out of grief. I cried a lot. It had been nearly four months this time since I had cried for her. Almost half a year since I had felt that intense panic, realizing I could never hold my Isabela again, until I saw her in Heaven.
When you lose someone to death, it is permanent on this earth. For me that has always been the worst part. They are gone. I cannot fix it. And the pain scares me, because there is no cure.
I've had a lot of friends inflicted with loss the last few months. They have lost parents and friends. Their pain is as real as the heavy clouds blackening the sky today. When asked how to survive, all I can say is that it won't always feel like this. It will come and go, ebb and flow like waves bringing the ocean to the sand. And then, one day, it will come to an end.
God has promised that one day, he wipe all our tears from our eyes and there will be no more pain. We will be united once again with all those who are gone and our world will be perfect with no more hurt and no more death.
Someday, I will hold Isabela again.
Someday there will be no more pain that I have lost her.
I hold his promise close to me and lift my face to the sun.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
I would be touched to pray for you and your family who are going through a time of loss. Just let me know. To contact me click here.
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"...and God was already there with me."