Sometimes Monday morning comes and finds me ever more exhausted than I was Friday evening. This morning when the coffee pot finished brewing, I stared into the black liquid and thought, "This isn't going to be enough." And it wasn't.
Don't get me wrong, I had a fantastic weekend. Saturday I enjoyed time with the girls and Sunday we had church followed by my nephew's first birthday party. I even went to bed early. But I felt far from rested, refueled, and ready for life when my feet hit the floor this morning.
And then what happens? Coffee. Sugar. Fatty snacks. I seem to think that some weird food combination will infuse my body with enough enjoyment and calories that I can kick-start into loving life again.
Ha. No such luck. I guess if jelly beans and cream cheese could beat such things as exhaustion, depression, anxiety, and etc, then the doctor would write them out on our prescriptions.
I got lunches packed, chores done, and saw my daughter off to school. It was just me and Micaela kicking it while I prepared for therapists from New Mexico's School of the Blind and Visually Impaired (NMSBVI) to arrive. I turned on some Contemporary Christian music as I trudged through various tasks.
Funny thing about that--the Christian Music got me to thinking, the thinking got me to praying, and before I knew it I had the stamina and energy to focus on my day with a positive attitude. I wasn't just ready, I was excited. I felt loved and confident and alive. I was refocused. I was refueled.
My eyes misted over when I was reminded once again that my Heavenly Father was just waiting for me to come to Him so He could fill me up. There was never any excuse for running on empty. I wiped my eyes and chuckled. God, I should probably tape a big note to my Bible that says "Refuel Here." And another one on my prayer journal. And another on my kitchen window so that I am talking with You instead of worrying while I wash dishes.
Its tough, isn't it? To remain focused and centered on God as the world moves forward. Perhaps we simply need reminders to refuel with God when we start running on empty. Sure, food and sleep will get us somewhere, but there is a difference between arriving and conquering. I don't just want to get there, I want to rise above it. I want to own it. I want to conquer it so that nothing left has the ability to steal my love of life or peace.
What are your favorite ways to refuel with our Amazing God?
Those who hope in the Lord
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"...and God was already there with me."