Two years ago I promised myself I wasn't going to allow parenting a special needs child to steal my joy nor to steal my life. We knew that Micaela's birth had brought a serious curve-ball into our future, but there still was a choice: We could become angry, bitter, and resentful or we could embrace an unknown life and accept that God gives good things to His children. It was with this kind of thinking that I began The Beautiful Day Project.
Yet, for whatever reason, the long trips to Albuquerque to see Micaela's specialists still frustrate me.
Yesterday the cans of pediasure were gathered up. We had snacks ready and Micaela's G-tube supplies. I hustled out as soon as I could, throwing Adela on the bus with a kiss and then drove quickly away. Yesterday a couple doctors in Albuquerque awaited Micaela and I for check-ups. Six hours of driving+7 hours of doctors and shoppings=1 exhausted mamma and toddler.
Some days I gaze rather too lovingly at my can of Redbull riding in its holder next to my seat. And yet, yesterday I realized that there is something special about these days.
I've had some of the most meaningful phone conversations when driving. I've been awed by a unique aspect of one of my girls' personalities that I had never noticed until they had to sit for hours on end and amuse themselves. I've listened to wonderful books. I've sang and sang and sang again. And, I've prayed.
I've prayed a lot.
It isn't often that I am given time just to sit. Sure, I drive. I talk to girls and sing to them when they are awake. But there are many long patches of pavement when all I can do is sit, pray, and think.
Yesterday marked a milestone for little Micaela. We won't be needed back in Albuquerque until the end of February! She is doing wonderful. God is so good to us.
As I pulled into our driveway yesterday evening, I was relieved. It was so very nice to be home.
But I know that I needed the long hours of quiet God gave me. My Heavenly Father had a lot of amazing things to share with me. It had been a while since I had given Him so much undivided attention.
My blessing are bountiful. Even long road trips and hours sitting in doctor offices are counted among the ways my God has shown His love to me and mine.
The Lord will keep
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"...and God was already there with me."