Adela traced the letter with her pointer. Glitter stuck to her finger. She giggled.
We have spent tons of time working on writing her name. Learning how to write isn’t simply knowing what the letter looks like, it is also spending time teaching your muscles how to move to form the letter. A.K.A. muscle memory.
As the weeks pass, it has been interesting watching which symbols come easily to Adela and which are difficult to make her hand comply with her head.
I totally understand her pain. I have been putting in the challenging work of teaching my mind, heart, and head to give God unlimited space in my life. Day after day I work against ingrained habits like worry and being addicted to lists and deadlines. I push against what I have learned to do over three decades of living. Muscle, mind, and emotional memory are powerful things.
As I learn to be patient with Adela’s slow progress, I remind myself to live in God’s grace. The most important thing is that we are doing the work. We are putting in the time and energy so we can learn valuable skills. I would rather spend years of my life working to re-teach myself how to live in God’s presence than to give up because of how difficult the task is.
Some day I hope for this:
That my inner monologue becomes prayer.
That my days feel incomplete if they are not begun and ended in devotion time with God.
That I respond to feelings of fear and frustration by realizing I have stepped away from my trust and faith in Him.
That I no longer push for my own agendas when I feel myself outside of His will.
That I am content living in His timing and plans.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
What habits are you working on now that require you to push against what is already ingrained in you?