Something to Consider the Next Time You SnapI never felt more human than I did right then while my six-year old aped-back my own discipline tactic. We had scuffled over her homework. She was whining, complaining, and dragging out the process. Supper needed to happen soon. I kept looking at the clock and the tension built. Then snapped. She had only complained that her pencil wasn’t sharp enough, but she might as well have committed an act of terror. The forceful words were out of my mouth and I couldn’t take them back. Adela’s face crumpled. She said, “That was very unkind, Mommy.” (Yeah, that’s what I usually say to her.) I apologized. Tears continued to stream down her face. “I think you need timeout, Mommy.” I was caught in a million memories. I wanted to simply repeat what I heard growing up, that I was the adult. That I was right. That she shouldn’t argue. She was wrong. But, she wasn’t. She was an exhausted six-year old trying to get through forty-five minutes of homework while her four-year old sister enjoyed TV. She was frustrated. So was I. But I had taken my frustration to the next level. I did need time out. I need to calm down, to reconnect with God, to breathe. I don’t do this enough. I don’t give myself space or a margin for error. I try to handle everything and be on the go all the time. I need more timeouts. I’d like to say that I can get through the girls’ wakeful hours and refill my soul when they are asleep, but I just can’t. Perhaps my soul "gas-mileage" has decreased with all the extra needs of my family. However, if my soul was a vehicle, I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere if I was out of fuel. We all need balance between our times of action and our moments of reflection. I am thankful for Adela’s compassion to tell me to take some time away from the situation. I pray that I never ignore God’s reminders to take time with Him. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31 Have you ever paid attention to the moments when you are spiritually exhausted? Have you learned to go to God before you snap?
1 Comment
1/18/2020 12:07:42 am
I sometimes ask myself why I am very slow. Maybe it's because I lack motivation. I am not getting paid for what I do. People don't seem to value me. It's hard to move if you keep using your own money from your very own pocket for others. They say you shouldn't really believe things are yours for the taking and that maybe everything belonged to God and you're supposed to use it to serve others but honestly why is it that I am not rich but it seems I am always the one serving.
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