Lost and Found Mother

I must have been about 9 years old, sitting in the wild alfalfa and sweet clover that thrives around Pagosa Springs, Colorado, when one of my cousins asked me about my obsession with writing poems and songs and sketching. I remember the moment. It was one of those moments that imprints upon your soul in a way that only God can brand you with. My cousin, a touch older than me, must have been feeling philosophical that day. She sat down in the grass and flowers next to me and asked, "Lora, why do you do all that writing and drawing? Do you think you want to be an artist some day? What do you really want to do?"

I felt the answer rush into my heart the way the New Mexico wind gusted when a storm was coming. "I just want everyone to know how beautiful everything God makes is." As I said the words my face filled with heat, not from embarrassment, but from a deep conviction I rarely felt being of such a quiet and passive nature. 

Today, I finished cleaning up the kitchen and started up my computer to work on some things for my classroom. I sighed a world-weary sigh and felt paralyzed by the long list of things that needed to be done. I just couldn't do it. It was all so important, but, I wanted to feel my soul sing. God never forsakes me. I feel His presence closer than ever these days as I navigate the new terrains of teaching and cheering Jovani on as he does the grueling work of a university student in veterinarian medicine. The devil likes to sneak up behind my tired shoulders and whisper lies about how my own dreams are being left behind in the dust of service to my family. 

That moment, decades ago, when I sat in the sun as a child, God placed an anchor of truth deep in my soul. Today I went back and asked myself, "Lora, why do you do all these things? The dishes and feeding baby and administering of G-tube feeds (Micaela's special needs) and wipe noses? What do you really want to do?" I felt tears of relief and gratitude fill my eyes because it IS what I want to do. 

I'm doing it. I am showing the world how beautiful are the things that God makes.

He makes mothers and wives that can shoulder grief and loss. 
He makes wives that can weather storms and stand by their men with strength and passion.
He makes mothers that can sit beside their children on the third hour of homework and gently encourage their struggles. 
He makes women who can spot out the lies of this world and fight for their families.
He makes women who, though exhausted and often fearful, can find the love and joy to smile for and hug their friends. 
He makes us stand firm on the last watches of the night when our strength is failing us and our children are sick. 
He makes us forgiving, understanding, hopeful, and full of laughter. 

He makes us BEAUTIFUL, ladies. 
Right where we are. 
We don't need a stage or a platform. We've got our daughters eyes and our husbands arms and a world that expected us to break down a long time ago.

But we just glow with that deep seated joy and peace, mortal vessels of God's miraculous spirit. 

Oh, so, beautiful. 

Feeding lambs has become much easier since my dad and brother made this lamb feeder. Aren't they cute!?

But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.
​Job 12:7-10

Do you see the beauty in your life today?