Learn How to Use Your Trials

Once upon a time, I had a hard heart towards parents with different children. From children who threw tantrums to those with learning disorders, my mind turned judgmental towards their parents. Though I never spoke these horrible thoughts aloud, I am ashamed that they lived in me.
 
God totally weeded this out of my mind and heart when Micaela joined our family. It is one of countless ways I have seen God use the trials that come with being a mother of a Special Needs child.
 
Our trials can be dark and desperate times in our lives, but we have an opportunity to use them in the best possible way. When we ask God to open our hearts and minds to what we are living through, we will find that he is using our challenges to bring about beautiful changes in our world.
 
As we go through these hard seasons or as we evaluate them from the other side, we need to be intentional about using them to grow.
 
Trials help us:
 

• Develop loving relationships. There are friends I’ve met during some rough times that have become thoroughly implanted in my heart. I think about my friend, Monique, a NICU nurse who kept me grounded when we lost Isabela and were struggling to cope with the idea of Micaela’s future. I also grew closer to other women who understood what I was going through or were there for me when I desperately needed them.

 

• Love God. God has held us within the storm and we have new respect for the awesome power of our amazing Father. I look back at the months that I waited on bedrest, pregnant with the twins. Though the outlook was scary for that pregnancy, God strengthened my heart. He got me through it sane, joyful, and determined to always rely on His power.

 

• Develop emphatic hearts.  As important as sympathy is for others, empathy goes deeper. Empathy allows you to intuitively understand what others are feeling and thinking. Together with the spirit of God we can help them find healing and clarity. Today, because of what I have lived through, I have an instant bond with other mothers who have lost babies and children or who care for the uncertain lives of children who are medically fragile or have special needs.

 

• Make personal growth. Like anything else in life, we do not grow if we do not overcome adversity. I’ve lived through my worst fears and came to the other side free. The woman I was before was weaker, full of worry, and under-valued connections with other people. God opened my heart and mind while He strengthened me in Him. I have abilities now I never thought I would possess such as being able to give my worries over to God and give up plans for a day, week, month, or year with a heart who is joyful to see God’s work unfold.

 
I smiled as I wrote this list. I don’t mean to make our trials sound desirable, but I wanted to bring a little hope to one of you today. I remember the moments where I sat viewing the desperate chaos of my world and wondering if it would ever be okay again. And it was okay, it was better than okay.
 
We all need to let ourselves be molded by The Potter if we are ever going to become His work of art. 

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Those who are at ease have contempt for misfortune as the fate of those whose feet are slipping.
Job 12:5, NIV 

​What have you learned through your own life struggles?