The unnerving realization came to me the other day that I not yet a butterfly.
If in life and my walk of faith things happen in stages then I am am a hairy funky-looking critter bumbling around and trying desperately to fill myself with enough good things that I can move forward to a greater purpose.
But, that is okay. I have to be a caterpillar before I can be butterfly. I simply need to celebrate the fact that I am in forward motion.
In the book of Mark in the Bible Jesus healed a blind man in two steps instead of doing it all at once. At first the story confused me. Why did my all-powerful God not simply heal him with a single touch? But Jesus healed the man in stages asking him between applications to tell Jesus what the blind man could see. I wonder if Jesus chose to heal him in such a way as to remind us that we do not reach a point of perfection all at once. There are stages.
Our walk with God reminds me of the phases of a butterfly. When I was a child, sheltered and protected, I was still in an egg. Now I'm out and about and growing. I am looking and searching and consuming. I have not yet learned how to sit back and wait upon God. That is the next stage. I know it is. I know it because I watch the more mature Christians in my church and they have peace. They have sat in their own Chrysalis and given their transformation over to Jesus.
Yes, I am wrinkling my nose right now. I don't want to do any waiting. I might be hairy and awkward, but I struggle with the idea of giving over my right to motion.
I am not a butterfly yet.
But I know it is coming. God is working on me.
He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”
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"...and God was already there with me."