By now you might be totally sold on the concept that taking better care of yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically will help you lose weight and keep it off. But then, right when you could be/should be doing that very thing, a nasty little thought pops into your mind, completely derailing you, throwing you off course, and taking away your enthusiasm to cultivate your health. Ugh! Well, girlfriend, you are not alone. I’m going to give you a peek into my mind today and give you some weapons to clean up the talk in your head so that you are giving yourself the thoughts that are going to fuel your change. This happened to me just the other day. I really needed to sit down and use the massage chair. I had been folding multiple loads of laundry. You know how that feels, right? In between my shoulder blades the muscles had gotten so tight they were painful. It was a pain I had been pushing through for hours, had taken Tylenol, and kept saying I would sit down and rest as soon as I finished the last load. Then the last load finished right as I needed to start dinner. I needed fifteen minutes but in my brain all I heard was, “Oh, no, you have to start dinner preparations. It’s a casserole and if you don’t get it put together within the next fifteen minutes and put it in the oven then dinner will be late. You can’t stop now. You have to do dinner. I almost felt like crying, because dinner prep starts the ball rolling on all my other evening chores like dishes, tidying the house, and Micaela’s cares. And, what if dinner is late because I’m being all lazy in the chair? That is just wrong. A few years ago I would have shoved my hand into the candy bowl and then forced myself to keep going. But, not this day, this day I closed my eyes and prayed out the feeling of fear and frustration that filled my heart. Then I sat myself down in that chair with my eyes closed for fifteen minutes. Dinner was fifteen minutes late. Nobody noticed and I hadn’t spent the rest of the evening in pain while gorging myself with candy that I actually don’t even like. We all have multiple thoughts that will bounce through our head whenever we need to take care of ourselves. I really want to talk to you about them because it can be scary at first to invest time in yourself and the enemy takes complete advantage of that fear and does his best to keep us from health and peace. I’m going to break down some of these common, nasty little thoughts, that keep us from taking care of ourselves. “This is not fun.” In one hand we have putting on our workout clothes and sweating out our frustrations and in the other hand we have a loaded double fudge sundae to soothe our frustrations. Which one sounds like the most fun? A very tired and toddler-like part of your brain can easily throw a mini tantrum at this point, insisting that going for a jog is not fun and you need fun! So, fight back with some truth. Exercising will make everything else more fun. We’ll have a body that is healthier and has more energy and a mind that is more clear and ready to handle the stressors of life. That ice cream sundae will be fun for about five minutes, end of story, and I’ll need something else or something more to help me with my frustrations right away. “My family is going to resent me.” Laying down for a nap means that I won’t be mopping the floor, paying the bills, or sitting down for a game of UNO. They’ll resent me doing something when our family and home needs me to do so much. My family will be frustrated and angry that I’m not on-duty. That is what I hear in my head, but then I give myself a reality-check. Literally everyone in our family gets to take time for themselves. The girls play with their toys and animals and chat with friends the bulk of the day. My husband takes breaks and meets up with others to hang out. It’s NORMAL, girlfriend. You’re the only abnormal one if you think taking a nap means you aren’t living up to everyone else’s expectations. And, if they do for some reason get upset, then expectations need to be adjusted so that you and everyone else recognizes that you are a human being, not an appliance. “I’m so selfish” Exactly how is it selfish to make sure that you, the one that shows up emotionally and physically for so many people in your life invest whatever it takes to help you have a body, brain, and heart that is ready to smile and serve with love. Ask your kids, spouse, or coworkers which version they want showing up: the overworked frazzled version who can work an extra thirty minutes because they didn’t exercise or shower today or the clean, composed, version who meditated on scripture and took a bubble bath last night. Yeah, not to be snarky, but I would pick the version that is actually pleasant to be around. Right now it is summer and my family gets me 24/7 and it is worth investing in the version that everyone enjoys including me. “I shouldn’t have to do this to be healthy.” In my opinion, this is the worst one of all. We think we shouldn’t have to try so hard to be healthy and happy. We remember other seasons when it was easier or we have friends that don’t need alone time or a nap. God says that it is in our weaknesses that He shows His strength. I have experienced more grace and love from my Heavenly Father when I honor my human needs than when I have tried to bully through because I shouldn’t need that TLC. If you had a disease or condition that needed medicine or therapy, you would take it, right? I think that there is a fear that by caring for ourselves we’ll become less resilient or lazy. But, I believe that when we are sensitive to the Holy Spirit, we’ll learn the times to work and the times to rest. I know that I need my quiet time in the morning to fill my soul before the day begins. I know I need water to function at my best physically. And, I know that when my body and soul needs rest, and God has provided the opportunity, then I can accept that blessing and trust HIM with my life. So, here is a fun practice for you. Try writing down one thing you are going to do for yourself today when you have the opportunity. Maybe it is going for a walk outside or calling your best friend. THen, when the opportunity comes and you start to back out of your commitment, pay attention to your thoughts? Are they right, pure, loving, and in line with God’s truth? Ask God to show you what He thinks about your precious soul. You are loved, my dear. The battlefield does happen in the brain. With God, you’ve got this. All my love. Until next week! Bye for now.
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As I’ve mentioned before, I spent nearly two decades in a weight loss yo-yo, the rollercoaster of binge-restrict-binge-restrict. Round and around I went. I was sick of it, of course, but figured that I was just one of those women predestined to struggle with self-control around food. Then the pandemic hit and I needed HELP with a capital “H”. When calling out to God I felt a distinct nudge to stop trying to do this on my own power and instead open up to the possibility that healing could happen. And, healing did happen. I discovered how to find that Freedom around Food that Dr. Ubell talked about. Today I want to break down both what that is and the basics to how to get there. First, freedom around food means that you eat what physically supports your body and steer clear from things that don’t serve you. That means that you no longer are ruled by the limiting beliefs that you need what you crave in order to survive. I used to be that woman that if I made a batch of cookies, I was physically ill by the time the last batch came out of the oven. I would eat so many gooey yummy cookies that I was nauseous and frustrated at my lack of control. The only way I could prevent the occasion was by refusing to have a single bite. Do you know what Freedom Around Food looks like? Just having one. Really. I can do that now. I can put a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie, fresh out of the oven on my plate, eat it, and be done. I can pass up a cupcake, turn down a bowl of chips, and even shrug away a loaded waffle. I want this for every woman out there that is struggling with the frustration and shame they have around their eating and drinking choices. I truly believe that our culture has gotten way too good at shoving highly palatable destructive culinary choices at us and made us feel trapped. God cares about your physical health and the mental head space that is being sabotaged as you try to fight yourself out of your unhealthy choices. So, I’ll tell you how to get there. First, you have to listen to your body again. It is that simple. Use the bathroom scale, see what foods cause you to put on weight easily and which one allow systematic inflammation to go down. Pay attention to your digestion. Arm yourself with knowledge about your unique body and how it functions. You can read a plethora of diet books and get information, too, but the best teacher is that beautiful body your soul is housed in. Honor it and start paying attention. Second, start to work on what your heart and mind needs in order to stop turning to food for comfort. When I work with women we address this at two levels. The first is that we pay attention to our cravings and urges and learn to comfort ourselves with better self-care. I have them dig into their personalities and invest in refreshing their heart and soul. The second level is learning to handle life with less stress and heartache. We learn to have patience with ourselves and others, we learn to lean on God and rest in Him so that we aren’t running to a jar of peanut butter to fuel our depleted minds and hearts. Third, we kick destructive habits to the curb and cultivate life-giving rhythms. Habits are the key. Once we learn what our bodies need and how to handle or prevent stress, then we develop habits that protect our choices, setting us up for a lifetime of success. Doing what serves us becomes what we do without having to really even think about it. So, let’s recap, in order to have freedom around food you will want to start learning what foods your body likes by paying attention to mainly digestion and the scale. Next we learn to both handle and prevent stress, exploring practices that comfort and heal when we are hurting and guard our heart and mind. Lastly, we take all that information and develop habits, routines, and rhythms for living that give us ongoing health all the way around. Yes, it isn’t a magic pill or an overnight process, but it is transforming. I had no idea that finding freedom around food would build my confidence and strengthen my precious connection to God with the help that I received from others. Now, I want you to stay tuned, because in a couple weeks I’m releasing a new free resource that will help you with everything we’ve been talking about today. You are brilliant, my love. I am so excited about the freedom that will be yours. Talk to you next week, good bye for now. I love intermittent fasting. It works well with my body and my lifestyle. Ever since pregnancies, breakfast has certainly lost its appeal so giving it up was simple except for about a fifteen minute period about mid-morning. The first day I did intermittent fasting and the bout of hunger hit me about 10am and I panicked. I almost gave in. After all I was hungry and I was uncomfortable. I was also full of fear. What if the hunger got worse? What if I grew faint or lethargic? But, I was determined to at least try out the fast so I drank some more black coffee and distracted myself with chores. The hunger passed and I eventually began to realize that the hunger signal was a normal occurrence. Mid morning my body would suggest we eat but if I didn’t then life just went on. Pretty simple. I now have no panicking emotions or fear when the hunger rolls on by. So, the other day I was half-way through my 20-minute run and my whole body started to complain. I felt tired and weak. Frustrated, I kept running while thinking about the situation. I had increased my speed and I knew that my body was protesting but that I was perfectly capable of continuing. Then, a single thought flooded my soul with peace, “It is supposed to be this way.” That single thought calmed everything in my mind down. I had no more thoughts about injuring myself or getting too tired. It even calmed down my body. I finished the run with strength and the revelation that when we refuse to accept what is normal, our brain fights against it, filling us with panic and fear. So, let me talk about three areas where we gain power when we realize that what we are going through is normal. Temptation is Normal: In 1 Peter 5, we are reminded that our “enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking for someone to devour.” The Devil is playing the long game, biding his time for the right moment and situation to pounce. And he always does. Someone gives us a plate of brownies the same day that the kids have severed our last nerve. Or your spouse asks you if you just want to go ahead and order pizza the same evening that you feel you can’t catch up at home or at work. The moment we feel the discomfort of urges and cravings we are so prone to buckle if we rebel with the thought that this shouldn’t be so hard. But, if you combine your history of giving in to food temptations and the event of your current situation, we can take a deep breath and say, “This is normal. The devil is tempting me because he knows where I’m weakest. So, I’ll drink a big glass of water and cling to Jesus for strength.” There is nothing wrong with you that you are tempted. It is supposed to be this way. You have pitted yourself against the enemy by accepting God’s gift of salvation and fighting for health. Resistance to changing habits is normal: I’m sorry, but it doesn’t feel easy when you are having to break in new ground. The old ways will always feel better at first. And, it WILL be easier if you look at the short-term. I remember the first time I turned down a mid-afternoon desert after my daughter and I baked a batch of cupcakes. I had already decided not to have any, but turning down the treat felt WRONG and desperately difficult. I could almost hear the whiny toddler in my head protesting against the change “But we ALWAYS have cupcakes. They taste so good. They’re right there. No one will even know or care if you have one.” Yep, I nearly felt inhuman that first time. Now turning down a treat is a well worn path. There is no confusion or anger, instead I know exactly what I’m doing. Some discomfort when we start exercising or eating less is normal. It drives me nuts that so many fad diets and exercise programs advertise a zero-pain process. I believe it is this false advertising that makes so many people feel like a failure before they even really get started, believing that the struggle is outside their capability because it isn’t supposed to be this way. They drop out believing that it is all too much. But what if we could simply accept that it is supposed to be this way. We don’t get anywhere significant in our lives by only doing things that are easy. Those that reach goals know that they will have to get uncomfortable in order to reach that goal. I have never reached a level of fitness without some sweating and soreness, nor have I made progress in eating always feeling full. I hope today’s episode is encouraging to you. You are doing great things. And, before I sign off, I just want to add that our discomfort is an invitation to draw closer than ever to God. I have learned so much about Him when I bring cravings to Him along with my need for strength and perseverance. Learning that His strength will sustain me whenever I feel my own failing, gives me confidence, hope, and peace. In this episode you are going to get an up-close and personal look at my weight loss journey and how I’ve reached a point of weight maintenance. I think that over the twenty-ish year that I dieted I probably reached my happy goal weight at least a dozen times. It was like an end zone or finish line. I’d see the number on the scale, wink at myself in the mirror, and lay down all the good habits and processes that carried me to my goal. This had to stop. When I reached my goal weight back in 2020 I learned some fascinating things about what it meant to stay at that happy weight as part of a life-long process. Losing the weight permanently took me through four stages: recognizing my real problem, dieting the way I wanted to live, finding my weight range, and re-evaluating my protocol. Recognizing the real problem. We were deep into the pandemic when I realized I had a big problem. I had been going through a cycle of binging and restricting since I was a teenager. Whenever life got stressful I turned to food for comfort and when I saw the weight creeping up higher than I was comfortable with, I would engage with some sort of ultra-restrictive dieting until I felt things were under control again. But, the pandemic just wasn’t ending and my stress eating had pushed me over a number and beyond. I was scared. This time I couldn’t get a handle on myself. That is when I discovered life coaching around emotional eating. It saved me. Namely I learned how to self-coach, identifying thoughts and habits that were driving me to emotionally eat. The problem was much more my emotions than the food itself combined with some food addiction to refined sugars and processed grains. My first step was taking care of myself emotionally and taking a huge break from sweets. Today I still use the tools I learned when I see those old habits emerging or have cravings for things that don’t serve me. I now know that I want to turn to God, friends, and self-care instead of cookies. This is important because if I had never worked on this real problem, there was no diet in the world that could help me. Dieting the way I want to live. Next, I had to start thinking long-term. Instead of dieting like crazy, reaching my goal, and then going back to eating normally, I instead adopted the mentality of only doing things that felt good and that I could do for the rest of my life. Yes, this meant that my weight loss was much slower than it ever had been before. However, I also learned to listen to my body’s hunger signals, have portion control, and eat foods that didn’t cause inflammation or discomfort. I figured out how to love eating in healthy ways. I took pieces of various programs and diets I had explored in the past and created my own protocol that works for my body and my life. This is important. My life and body are unique and so is yours. It is unreasonable to expect it to fit perfectly into someone else’s designed protocol. Weight range. As I neared my weight goal, I realized that there really wasn’t a finish line, instead there was a zone. Our bodies, especially women’s body’s, have a weight that fluctuates a lot. TO have a single number that I needed to hang on to to feel successful was not only unreasonable but also toxic. It would mean that most days I was either above or below my goal and constantly “failing”. Thankfully, much of the health community has adopted the healthy belief that we should have a weight range in maintenance that accounts for things such as hormonal changes and inflammation. My weight range is 125 to 135. If I go outside of this range or see definite trends that alarm me, then I know I need to re-evaluate my eating, sleeping, hydration, mental health, and exercise. Re-evaluating. Someone asked me if I am tired of always having to keep my weight on my mind. I’m not. Mostly I am thankful that I have a way of noticing when I’m not taking better care of this vessel God entrusted me to. I know that emotional eating will most likely always be a vice the enemy offers to me when things get hard, but it is also my red flag, alerting me that I’m not being loving, kind, and patient with myself nor that I’m leaning on God’s strength. When I see weight creeping up I re-evaluate what I’m doing. This is especially important as my body begins to go through peri-menopause and I realize that it will continue to be important as my body continues to change in the decades to come. I know that many women are so focused on getting to that number on the scale that this might not feel applicable to your life, but I want to encourage you that you can do many things now that will make your weight loss permanent. You can learn to work on the real problems that drive you to overeat, you can learn to eat in a way you enjoy that fits your lifestyle, you can begin to notice fluctuations on the scale so that you can later figure out a weight range, and lastly you can become a pro at re-evaluating your progress and protocols. Lastly, if you are weight maintenance, I want to encourage you because this can feel really lonely. No one will tell you that you they are proud of you or that you are doing such a good job. Where you are at now is something that you can only share with God, yourself, and hopefully a friend or spouse who truly understands. I see you, dear one. Let your fight to stay healthy in this world riddled with unhealthy offers draw you closer to our amazing Savior. All my love to you! Talk to you next week! Bye for now. My day begins with quiet. I get up early enough that I can enjoy Bible study, journaling, and praying without feeling rushed. I love this time of the day, but often it is the only time that I feel any peace. That peace begins to dissolve the moment I write my to do list. As if I’m only resting with God until that first productive step forward into my day, and then it is all on me. I’ve got to get it all done and get it all done right. The things I prioritize first is work followed by caring for our home. Connection with my girls and husband are next, and, I come last…or not at all. Do you know what fuels this unhealthy pattern: fear. My personal weight loss journey taught me so much. I couldn’t myself in last place and become healthy. As my family’s needs have changed in different seasons, I am susceptible to having my priorities out of whack and I’m in the long process of putting things back in healthy order. But, fear makes me feel like if I don’t put work first then I won’t have enough time and I will be a failure. Next, the home with it’s laundry, dishes, and dusty floor directly reflect how well I assume my housekeeping responsibilities. My husband and children need some love and eye-contact, but they usually only get it if something needs dramatic attention or if I miraculously finish my list. It feels so difficult to prioritize a run or a nap when I have loved ones I’ve been neglecting too. A couple weeks ago I was confessing all this to God, asking that He miraculously reorder my heart and head so that I have no confusion or shame about how I manage my time when He showed me something that helped me understand and draw another step closer to healing. In the wilderness, after God saved the Isrealites and brought them out of Egypt, they were worried about their food situation. So God rained down manna on them. Manna was like a kind of flake that could be gathered and used to bake bread. The rule was that they were to gather enough for their family only for that day unless it was the day before Sabbath and then they were to gather a double portion so that they could rest on that day. That manna was to be used to sustain themselves and families. It was not to be hoarded or sold to others. What if we treated time this way? Trusting God to sustain us and give us what we need? What if we trusted Him enough to use that time for ourselves and our loved ones instead of frantically using it in pursuits that rob our peace and never feel like enough. Like I said, I’m working on this. As I thought about this episode, I thought about the dozens of women I’ve coached that struggle with this, too. I realized that our life and health, AND that of our families, would improve incredibly if we could trust our time to God in the following areas:
That’s it, just six areas that if we trusted Him we would see great improvements in our health. Exercise gives me energy and clarity. Preparing good food boosts the health of myself and my family. Weekly and daily meal planning is something I often prioritize but I would love to include my older daughter in the process which would take longer but help her develop so many concepts around diet and managing a home. Connecting with others from the loved ones in my home to those that are only a phone call away helps me feel human and seen and it gets my head out of my own world and worries. Lastly, I try to bully through so many things instead of taking a moment to talk to God about it or remember what His word said, feeling like every moment is precious and slipping away. And rest is critical for our healthy emotionally, mentally, and physically. Where do you feel yourself struggling and not spending a resource in a way that is loving and kind to yourself and your family? Is it time like me or is it money? Space? Friendship? What do you hold back from trusting God with? I want to say that as we figure these out we are not only mentally healthy, but we also cultivate habits that help us maintain physical, emotional, and spiritual health. You, my dear, are complex and one hurting area affects the whole body. I’m so proud of you for taking on the challenge to keep changing and moving forward while abiding in our Heavenly Father. All my love to you! I’ll talk to you next week. When I was in my early twenties my husband and I honeymooned at an all inclusive resort. It was magical and I neither weighed myself before or after. Forever after I would compare every other adventure to those ten days we spent together. We did whatever we wanted, ate and drank whatever we wanted, and did it all whenever we wanted. But, the reality is that I am not in my twenties anymore. I’m 37 with two little girls and a body that is going through perimenopause (super fun). My vision for this vacation is being able to chase the girls down the beach and laugh with my husband. I want to comfortably walk through Sea World and dive and swim my way through a water park. I want to wake up each morning rested and enjoy a body that is fueled not floored by the meals I eat. I want to be engaged, not uncomfortable for the seven days we spend together. I’m going to offer you three different approaches to your food (and drinks) that often help me and women that I coach when they are going on vacation or doing something else short term that throws them out of their normal routines. I want you to consider each approach and whether or not it applies to you and your situation. Then pick something you think might support you. This is a trial and error process to be ready to learn and celebrate that new knowledge. Stick to timing. Sticking to timing means that you eat the same meals at roughly the same time that you do at home even though it might be very different foods. For example, if you typically support yourself by not eating after dinner, then you could enjoy a meal at a restaurant but decline drinks and snacks after you push back your plate. Or, if you don’t normally eat breakfast and have no concern that your activity level or schedule might make skipping breakfast difficult, then you could continue that practice. I don’t typically eat breakfast so I won’t have it on the mornings that we are driving or that we don’t have an active morning planned. I also don’t plan on eating after dinner. I will sip on some water, tea, or decaf coffee instead of snacking or having other beverages after that last meal. I know that it helps me both sleep better and keeps me from eating things that don’t serve me. Now, this is a mind game. You have to embrace your healthy choices instead of mentally lamenting what you aren’t eating or else you are likely to either cave or feel left out. Sticking to timing helps you maintain a healthy habit that you have already established. We don’t need to throw out all our habits just because we’re on vacation or spending a few days out of our normal routine. Plus, it will help you get back to normal when you get home again. Avoid trigger foods. This approach is very important for some of my clients who are prone to binging or emotional eating. I have to do this as well. I know myself and while I love vacation, I can also become overwhelmed by the lack of time to be alone with my thoughts as an introvert. In the past I have often turned to chocolate, by the pound, to comfort my frazzled emotions. However, I’ve also noticed that if I stay away from my go-to foods for emotional eatings than I’m more likely to turn to healthier options for some TLC. What would be some trigger foods for you? For some women this might be actually food items like pasta dishes or fried chicken that once eaten they dive off the deep end for the rest of the trip. Be honest with yourself, if you can’t eat that food in portion sizes within the situation you are in, then avoiding that food altogether might be a wise choice. It might even be worth making a list of some of your trigger foods with a substitute that you know you would enjoy but be able to stay in control with. For example, on my list I have candy (all candy) that I am willing to substitute with whole apples, wine that I will substitute with a hard seltzer, and chips that I can substitute with fresh veggies. As a side note, I have recently noticed that after three years on this journey, I have victory over eating in restaurants. I almost always order either a dairy-free salad or a grilled meat with veggies. I have this quest to find the most yummy and enjoyable salad combinations on the planet and have become way more adventurous in what I will try from the menu. Gone is the girl that almost always ordered chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and gravy. Not that I don’t love that, but I’m excited about enjoying both the salad but also the light and satisfied feeling I have after the meal. So far my favorite salad to-date was a spinach, avocado, and bacon salad topped with pico de gallo from Leal’s in Clovis, NM on a field trip. Portion Control. Portion control is another approach that works really well for many of the women I work with. Once they are in touch with their hunger signals and how different foods affect their bodies, eating away from home becomes so much easier. They know they can eat a broad array of foods at a portion that supports their bodies. How this works is they fill their plates and enjoy their food, when they start to feel satisfied they stop eating. Then, they don’t eat again until they are physically hungry. I love this. If you can eat to your hunger signals and are aware of how different food affects your body then you don’t need a perfect menu or situation to eat in a way that supports your body. I have to admit, this skill is hard one, especially if you grew up in a home where your parents required you to clean your plate. At home I have learned not to overfill my plate, but I still struggle with this in restaurants especially when I have no way to take home left-overs. So, be aware of yourself. Okay, my dears, are you ready for vacation? I hope so. Go ahead and let me know what approach you would like to try the next time you're on vacation, visiting relatives, or hosting a multi-day family gathering. One thing that I have absolutely loved is teaching my girls how to approach their own eating in a way that is both healthy and enjoyable. As you make changes, you aren’t just making them for yourself, you’re making them for the people in your life, too. I’m so proud of you. Keep up the great work. All my love to you, dear friends. Talk to you next week! I remember my first ever family trip. We went to San Diego when I was very young, around six years old. My younger brother and I were just discussing this, and the pack of gum we were each allowed to pick out. Each of us was allowed to pick out a pack of gum before our trip began. I’m pretty sure mine was juicy fruit gum because I recall the yellow packaging and the fact that I seemed to need a new stick to refresh the flavor not long after unwrapping each piece. My pack of gum didn’t get me to California, but for the few hours it did sustain me, I was highly entertained and gleeful. I am not the only one who has long trips in a car firmly fixed to snacks and eating. In fact, the idea of getting in our SUV for our trip to Texas without snacks seems laughable. What would we do with all that time? Thankfully, we recently visited family in Dallas and I did find out that snacking while traveling does not have to coincide at all! Mercies upon mercies. This spring we traveled to Dallas, a trip that takes our little family over eight hours, and I did not snack in the vehicle at all except to enjoy one candybar on the last day of traveling. I hacked the system! And it wasn’t all that difficult. The first thing I did was simply consider: Why do we want to snack? The answer is, we are not used to sitting for long periods of time without entertainment. Snacking provides oral pleasure and something to do with our hands. It also can keep us awake if we are the ones driving. So, before we began the trip I listed all the reasons why I would want to snack. Here is my list:
Then, I went back and figured out all the OTHER things I could do to solve those same problems.
I want to give you a little homework assignment. If you are going to go on a road trip, I want you to make a list of all the reasons you might want to eat on your trip. Then, write down some options that give you solutions without turning to snacking or grazing. IF you have any physical objects that might help, make a little travel bin with all the supplies you need. What might even be extra fun is to go to the dollar tree with a list of supplies and pick up coloring supplies and crossword puzzles. Download audio books and podcasts you have been interested in trying out. Make a list of road games you can play with your kids and conversation topics you can have with your travel companions. Just think of the incredible bonding time this can be for you and your family. My last piece of advice is to dive into this with the plan to continue on your weight loss or weight maintenance journey. Don’t begin this adventure with a less than hopeful attitude, but instead, begin with the belief that you are going to do this. Approach the issue with God in prayer. Make your desire to snack your reminder to connect with others and your Father in Heaven like a built-in notification to your soul that you need something else. Now, you might be saying right now, that’s all fine, Lora, but what do I do when we actually get to our destination? How do I handle dinners out and ice cream shops? What do I do when we go to a family gathering or meet up at an artisan bakery. Oh, my dear friend, I’ve got some great tips for you. For sure. So, don’t miss the next episode. If you could do me a big favor and share this episode with a friend, that would be wonderful. I am on a mission to help more women find Christ-centered weight loss. I want them to find freedom from both their food addictions and the dieting mentality. It was lovely having this conversation with you. I’ll be back next week with another great episode. Until then, safe travels. For Mother’s Day, our church sang an old song called “One Day at a Time” and I fell in love with it. I sang it all last week as we finished up school and I packed up my classroom. I’m moving again, from an elementary position to a high school English position. I have two teaching license so when our little school has a hole in staffing I am an easy person to shift around. That being said, I’ve decided to be absolutely thrilled with the prospect of reading and developing curriculum around ten different novels this summer. Sounds fun, right? Last summer, I began the vacation months with no thought as to how it might affect my eating habits. I just figured it would be fine since I’m good about eating to my hunger levels and have done so much work around my emotional eating habits. But, I paid for not having a plan. You see, when you don’t have a plan, your mind and body automatically default to whatever seems and feels the easiest. So I defaulted to my weekend plan. My weekend plan I eat breakfast each day, enjoy one exception treat, and one exception meal that goes off my typical meal templates. It didn’t take long before I was knocking at the top end of my maintenance weight. I needed an actual plan. After all, summer vacation isn’t a 10 to 12 week long weekend. I want to share with you three key mind shifts that will help anyone whenever they are in a transition period (like me) or experiencing any significant changes.
I thought it would be so much fun on my stories for Instagram and Facebook the next few weeks to share what healthy choices I’m making as I slide into summer. So, if you aren’t following me yet, make sure to head over to Facebook or Instagram and find me with the handle armendariz.lora. And send me a message if you have any ideas that would help me or my listeners. I would love to share them here on the podcast. Well, my dear friends, I will be back next week to let you know how it is going. You are each so precious. God cares about your health. He cares about you. You are loved. Talk to you next week! Good bye for now. For myself, and a lot of women I work with, we have got into the awful habit of trying to fix ourselves with food. What I mean by that is that we use food to take the edge off our situation or provide just enough comfort that we can keep going. Now, I want to take a moment and say that this is especially true for women with small children and also those who are caregivers. Some reasons I see for this is that there are many urgent demands for our attention and our time. Reaching our hands into a bag and filling our mouths with something that is crunchy, salty, sweet, or fulfilling only takes a few seconds. The problem is that the relief is so temporary that we keep going back for more and more. So, I’m going to walk you through an exercise today that will truly help you make some headway in this area. Now, in the scenario that I gave you at the beginning I was eating trail mix as a way to relieve stress. When you are trying to overcome cravings for things that don't serve you, there are three basic levels to approach this. Level one is to simply white-knuckle your way through the craving, distract yourself, or avoid the sight and smell of whatever is enticing you. Level two is to do things that relieve stress such as go for a walk or listen to some music. But the expert level, and the best level is to dig into your head and figure out what thoughts and beliefs are creating your stressful reality. Lies are just like having an unsealed and unprotected part of your heart. Before you know it, your life is infested with words, emotions, and actions that keep leaking from a lie that we have not taken care of. I truly believe that for every situation that you feel like food is the answer, there is a lie that the enemy is egging on us to believe. We have to find that lie. It so often lies hidden in the busyness that is life around us. To find the lie you need to:
Those three simple steps not only ease my cravings, but they strengthen me and give me peace. This is so simple. Let me walk you through this super simple process by being very honest with you about a situation that comes up often for me. There is this moment, late Sunday evenings, that I start to crave all kinds of things. Anything really. This has gone on for a really long time and I just recently began to do some work on it. Let me describe the scenario to you. It’s Sunday evening and my weekly day of rest is coming to a close, yet I’m exhausted. My soul is refilled by church and fellowship, but my mind has begun to circle over what Monday will bring and my body is tired from all the things that come with taking care of our little girl and the chores of keeping up a home and helping with the farm. So, I want something to make it better. Maybe some candy from the cabinet or a bowl of popcorn. If I ask why, the answer is: I want something that will help me suck the last ounces of a quiet Sabbath so that I actually feel like I had I weekend. I want something to make life fun. To make life joyful because I don’t have enough joy or fun in my life. What situation created this? Life is busy and I have a lot of responsibilities. If I’m really honest, I have to confess that I try to cram too much into one day and I’m almost always drowning even on a Sunday. So, here is the lie: I need something fun to eat to make my life better so that I can get through it. Let me repeat this lie because I know a few of you have heard it bump around in your head too: I need something fun to eat to make my life better so that I can get through it. The last step is, could God fill this need. Could God make my life better, more peaceful? Joyful? Restful? Oh. Goodness. YES. He already has. He is the God of hope offering to fill me with joy and peace (Romans 15:13) He is my strength and my song and my salvation every single day (Psalm 118:13) and I can definitely let go of my fear that I might not do something or do something right and rest in His easy yoke (Matthew 11:28-31). If I really look at all those truths then to go ahead and pack my mouth full of M & Ms it is a defiant unwillingness to trust or rely on God. I can see then that I can hold on to the lie that life is too much and unfair and continue to hurt my body with food, or I can put that down and crawl into God’s lap, letting Him be the one to guide my life and fill me with love. I recently went through a Bible Study created by Lisa Terkurst where she encourages you to write the lie that lead you to food on one side of a 3 x 5 index card. On the other side you are to write what God says that negates that lie. I love this. You can then put that card in your purse or clip it to your refrigerator. My dear, at the end of the day, my prayer for you is that you stop trying to white-knuckle your way through every diet or eating plan. It is not okay that each time you fall on your face that you blame and shame yourself, expecting to somehow be stronger or better. Target that lie, the lie that keeps telling you that you need food to fix your life or fix your moment long after your physical need for nutrients has been met. Let me go over the steps again to identify and target the lie:
Don’t forget to download that freebie from my website at loraarmendariz.com/freeresources. The 4-Step Guide to conquering cravings is easy, free, and comes with some phone backgrounds to remind you what to do whenever you feel yourself under attack. I hope the month of May is treating you well! By this time next week I should be on my summer schedule and making all those changes to how I approach life during my non-teaching time. This is always a bit of a transition for me, going from spending most of our time at school to spending almost all of our time at home. I’ll let you know how it is going! Until then, all my love to you! Over the years, especially during the times that our little family was experiencing the most difficulty and trauma, the people in our lives have often chosen to show us the most love and support by offering food. Meals, coffee, desserts, sweets… I’ve always received it the same way--deep thankfulness. One less thing to cook and the reminder that people around me deeply love my family and care about what we are going through. But, as I’ve started on this journey of finding freedom around food and leaning on God to be my source of comfort and strength, I have dealt with many situations in which food wasn’t the offering that best supported my life even each and every time it has been a sweet reminder that I’m loved, seen, and not alone. I want to share with you three ideas that can help you in situations when others offer you love via food. 1. Receive it Well First of all, you actually don’t have to put that food in your mouth and consume drinks if you aren’t hungry or you feel the food isn’t going to support your body well. And, honestly, how you receive food offerings can be more about the relationships that come with them. If someone drops by a casserole, express your admiration for them taking the time and let them know it makes you feel seen, loved, and cared for. If someone brings you a coffee. You say thanks, but realize that the liquid in the cup is also an invitation for you to chat so if you need to open up or let someone into your head, here is your chance. I remember that however I respond to these gifts should be more about our relationship than just the food. These are people who are showing me love and I receive it because it is always needed. 2. Know Yourself Better Here is the kicker, for years I really didn’t know how to take care of myself in any other way except by having desserts or treats. When I restricted myself from these foods I felt like I was in diet prison. Therefore, in all honest truth, there wasn’t a lot else besides food that made me feel loved and comforted. I had to get to know myself a lot better and figure out other things that make me feel relaxed and loved. Now, if a friend asks, I can tell them I need to go for a walk, vent to someone, write in my journal, spend some time outside, watch a funny movie, or organize something in my house. I have a whole list that doesn’t involve food. Recently, one of my favorite people in the world gave me materials for my bullet journal: washi tape, stickers, and pens and I felt so uniquely loved and seen. Plus, she was contributing to good self-care habits that I use to take care of myself even within my very chaotic season. If you don’t know what else besides food will comfort you then you can’t expect the people in your life to know it, too. End of story. 3. Let People In It's confession time. I struggle with letting other know what I need. For example, right now I’m teaching full time. And one of my students is my eldest daughter. In truth, what I want is time alone, even for a couple hours, without being on duty as a teacher and a mom. But, I also have this ridiculous belief that no one, not even my husband, can care for my younger special needs daughter like me and therefore I need to stay close to her as much as possible. I can see that when others look at my life, even those who are incredibly close to me, they might be confused as to what I might even receive as help or love. As I grow on this journey, I’m learning to let others in more so that a casserole isn’t the only thing they can think of to bring by. I once heard that we have to train others as to how to treat us, and this is true. In retrospect, I trained others for centuries to offer me love through food. How in the world can I expect them to suddenly understand that I don’t want that any more. So, here I have a curious question for you: do you know how to love and support others without food? I have to say that this is an area I need to grow in too. As a mom and a life coach, I’ve become even more aware of this in recent years. I am so guilty of pulling out sugar as some sort of bonding agent when it comes to my relationships, however, that really isn’t what usually creates the most meaningful memories or conversations. So, I’m learning to opt for a board game or a walk outside with my girls instead of sitting ourselves in front of the TV with a plate of cookies. Now, I want to go back to teacher appreciation week and the food that was provided by various people throughout the week. It was amazing and yummy, but most of all it provided opportunities for me to hang out with my coworkers, laugh, hug members of the community and really bask in that feeling of being seen, loved, and appreciated. It really wasn’t about the food at all. I did, however, eat some of the food each day. For these situations, I like to do template eating. I plan my meals around templates. For example, my lunches generally consist of lean protein, healthy fat, and fruit or vegetables. So, instead of throwing in the towel because EVERYTHING was being offered, I enjoyed some of the food as closely as I could to the type and portions on my lunch template. It wasn’t perfect, but I also didn’t eat things that made me feel bad physically or that triggered cravings. This solution might work well for you, too. I use this concept when I eat out, visit people's homes, attend potlucks, etc. So, there you have it, when you are trying to make some changes to your eating choices consider three things: Be a good receiver and receive the love, get to know yourself better so you can start to show those close to you that you like other things besides food, and let people in to your life so that they know what you need. Before I sign off, I want to update you on my workout. It is going really well. I have really been enjoying my runs and tend to do more of that than strength training, but either way, the fact that I am working out consistently, feeling stronger, more energetic, and emotionally and mentally healthy…that is feeling like a huge win. My hope is to begin more strength training whenever school ends and summer is here and I’m not teaching. Next week I want to talk to you about what to do in the moment that food seems like the easy fix for how we are feeling or what we are dealing with. As a parent of a special needs child there are so many times that I feel stuck and food is my only “out” or relief. We’ll dive into that and I hope my loving honesty is helpful. Love and blessings to you! Good bye for now. |
by Lora ArmendarizYou Can Do It!Do you want to fall out of love with a destructive habit? The first 42 episodes of this podcast are a resource for anyone who wants encouragement and information as they take a six week break from a habit in order to fall out of love with it. Archives
April 2024
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