Day 17, How Confidence is Built

It was always the morning after that I felt it. I recommitted to some crazy diet believing that I had to do it because I was so out of control with my eating and drinking. The shame of my binging patterns fueled a dive into eating that was not reasonable for my life. It would be something incredibly strict such as, “No more processed food ever. I am giving it up for the rest of my life.” or “I am only eating one meal a day until I reign this in and am at my goal weight.” Or I would get on Pinterest and pull up one of those 30-day clean eating plans and say that this was the time I would figure out how to do it perfectly. 

Then I wouldn’t. I would mess up and then decide that if I was going to make a mistake I might as well make it worth it. 

However, the solution was hard for me. The solution was that I had to start making eating plans that were healthy, truly healthy, then commit to it, even planning for treats. That was hard for me. I was used to being punitive and demanding, not nurturing and loving. However, eating and planning this way made me turn a complete corner in my self-esteem. As I planned reasonably and followed through, I started to see that I had my own back. I also felt so good not living a life that was restrictive and centered around deprivation. Instead my mindset became how I could care for myself better. How does my body need me to take care of it instead of punishing it? What food makes me feel good? What kind of movement do I enjoy? What kind of self-care fuels healthy habits? 

God has asked us to treat ourselves this way. After all, His Spirit dwells in us. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it says, Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 

When we begin to teach ourselves that we can be counted on to care for our health then you will start to see your confidence and self-esteem rising. You will begin to believe again that you have your own back. 

Journal prompt: Are you caring for yourself or punishing yourself? The same action can come from a different place in your heart. Where can you begin to regain your own trust as you care for yourself more? 

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