Day 15, What are You Asking it to Do?

What, exactly, do I need those chocolates to do for me? I was staring inquinsically at the jar of teacher-appreciation chocolates a sweet family had given to me last month. I wanted to eat them all. The urge felt intense and consuming. After I sat with it for a while the feeling shrank away and then I asked the real question. 

What do I need these chocolates to do for me? 

It was late at night. My husband was still out working. Potty training had not gone well and it felt like we had lost ground. I also was dreading another day like that and was worried that Micaela, even at the age of eight, was not developmentally ready to take on this skill. I realized, that I wanted the chocolates to make it better. Literally. I wanted them to fix it. I wanted them to provide solutions and an escape. 

I almost laughed out loud. I closed the door and walked away from the jar. I curled up on the couch and journaled, writing all my frustration down and then asking God to help me. I really needed His help just to stay in the moment with love and patience. I needed Him also to help me trust His plan and guidance. The time would pass anyways, potty training or no, and it really didn’t matter if it was a bust, what mattered was all the love I was showing my daughter and how I was serving my family. God is using all of this to grow me into a stronger, more loving woman. 

In Isaiah 55: 1-2, God says, Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.” God wants to be the one that satisfies us in ways that those foods or habits never could. He provides for our needs to be cared for in a way that sustains our souls. We just need to turn to Him. 

Journal Prompt: When it comes up today, your brain offering you the option of delving into that habit, ask yourself, “What do I need this food or this activity to do for me?” How could I find that same comfort in a healthy place or activity? 

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