#111, Make a Plan for “I don’t Want to”

I have been there, too. Lunch comes around and I stare at the wonderfully packed over-night oats I brought to work. I distinct voice in my head says: “I don’t want to.” and I’m overwhelmed with longing for a candy bar or something loaded with salt and grease that would make my heart happy (just not very healthy). I tend to panic, needing my brain to be on board with my choices or else French fries and chocolate bars will soon be shoved in my mouth. 

So what do you do when you just don’t want to? I’ve got some great ideas for you. This is going to be a fun one. 

Micaela’s favorite word is still, “No.” and it is interesting because she uses that word to give her space. She literally says no because she needs time to think, a lot longer time than most people. But “no” doesn’t always mean, “I won’t” it means “I won’t right this second.”

I’ve noticed we often give in or feel discouraged when we realize we don’t want to be healthy or follow through with our healthy choices. We might then believe that we don’t have enough will-power or that we aren’t motivated enough. This is far from the truth. We actually instead are probably struggling with some emotional or physical needs and we actually just need a moment to process what those are. 

Micaela’s tendency to say no is a powerful tool. It doesn’t just give her space, it also helps all her caregivers from school to home, become more aware of what she might be feeling. Today I want to encourage you to do the same thing for your own moments of “Don’t want to” so you can take even better care of yourself and find even more determination and commitment to your health goals. This is expert-level weight loss advice. So, let's dive in!

1. Notice: The best thing you can begin is really pausing and noticing when the “I don’t want to,” pops up. We tend to become very reactive when we are in a state of stress, exhaustion. So, we often just react to that thought by giving in and additionally shaming and beating ourselves up internally while making plans to do better tomorrow even though tomorrow you will still have the same job, the same family, and be doing generally the same things that you did today. 
2. Ask: What do you need the out-of-boundary eating or drinking experience to do for you? So you need it to take your mind off something, take the edge off of how you are feeling, or is it simply a habit you have and NOT doing it feels wrong? Are you rested and hydrated? Really dig in until you figure out the root of the problem, because I would bet money that it isn’t about the food at all but about a need that you have. Now, occasionally the reason might actually be physical hunger and how I like to test this out is by offering bland healthy solutions such as steamed veggies or plain protein. If my brain responds with enthusiasm to those offers then I am most likely truly physically hungry. However, if my brain wants something more pleasurable then I know I’m dealing with something that is much more emotional. 
3. Find Solutions: After you have dug in and found the problem, this is where you have an incredible opportunity to start building routines of true self-care. If you realize you are tired,  you might lay down for a nap. If you sense that you are worried or anxious, you might turn to a favorite passage in the Bible. If you are angry or frustrated you might want to go for a walk or do some journaling. There are so many things you can do for yourself that will give you relief and make you even healthier and stronger than you were just a few minutes before. You might already have some things you enjoy doing, or might have to try out a few ideas before one really allows you to find the care and healing that you are needing. 
4. Make a plan. Start a “If, Then” chart for caring for your needs. On the chart list the the reasons you might not want to follow through with your good intentions. On the right list self-care items for the situations you might be driven to eat outside of your intentions. For example, if I feel like eating and I know that I’m physically tired then I could either take a quick power nap or practice deep breathing for a few minutes. Both options are much better than downing a red bull. Or, if I am seeking to take the edge off my stress then I can go for a walk or journal the answer to some guiding questions. 

Micaela and her caregivers are always using her, “NO!” to go through the exact same process. 1. We ask her to notice how she is feeling emotionally and physically. 2. We ask her and ourselves what she might be needing or missing. 3. We address the true problem. 4. We set good expectations for follow through for Micaela and everyone involved. 

So, as you stay committed to your health choices, even through this Holiday season, remember to address that thought of “I don’t want to” by #1: Noticing the thought, #2 asking what is going on, #3: finding healthy solutions, and #4 making a plan for next time. 

I don’t know about you, but I am really enjoying this time of year. I love the events and the activity. I have my fall break coming up just next week where my husband, girls, and family will spend really amazing time together. I pray that you have a blessed week. Good bye for now!

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