It gets under my skin, that whining, complaining noise. When she clings to me and begs sometimes I have to simply pick her up and put her in timeout because if I don't I'll be checking into a loony bin by sundown. True story.
Motherhood can take a hit on your confidence, can't it? You want so desperately to do the right thing, the perfect thing, for your kids. But there is no one constantly informing you of the perfect method to handle whatever next misadventure your beloved child is getting into.
I can honestly say that I have been a little frustrated here lately, hoping that I'm doing just the right thing for my little girls. I pray about it a lot. I know God must see all the fear in my heart and this morning he very gently showed me that I am doing alright.
Adela was up at 5:30 ready for hugs and pancakes. I wearily began the day and begged the caffeine to kick in quickly. When that first little rush was over, I sat down with my coffee. Adela settled down to play. She is a quiet little soul. The stuffed animals were taken out of the toy box and cared for. She softly welcomed each little animal out of their storage and asked them how they were. Then she grabbed up three horses and carefully arranged them so that they were snuggling each other.
You could see her heart as she worked, talking with them and caring for them. Tears stung my eyes. It was as if God was making me see what he saw--Love. A heart full of love.
I took a deep breath and smiled. Ok. I guess I'm not doing that bad after all.
Just like everything in life, when we focus on the bad, the hurt, and the disappointment in our children we will fail to enjoy them. They are unique, precious individuals. God made them each different. They won't be like any other child on earth. That is why there is no one that can tell us how to parent them. In the end there is only God's still quiet voice reminding us that He will guide us through this, too.
I know I'm making mistakes as a parent. None of us are perfect. But I know too that God gave me these children and set before me this task to guide them into adulthood. Any task set before us by God He has also prepared us for. We are are not alone and our actions motivated by love will shine through the lives of our kids.
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
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"...and God was already there with me."